America (e Pluribus Unum Version) Lyrics
(America, (C) 1957, Leonard Bernstein/Stephen Sondheim, West Side
Story
CHENG
South Korea, my heart's obsession,
Call me at your own discretion.
SARAH
Always the pot growers dealing;
Always the starving people stealing!
And the gun-concealing;
And the coca-raising;
And the fires
Did It Ever Occur To You Lyrics
MELANIE
Did it ever occur to you
That when the two of us are around,
Everything else looks like specks of dirt to you,
Just passing by
The nighttime sky
And psychedelic sparks fall to the ground?
Everything induces dizziness,
Your head, like, totally turns to ai,
I'm feeling so h
Duly Untaught Lyrics
(Parody of "Carefully Taught" from South Pacific)
PITTMAN
You'll just have to learn, when up you are brought,
There are people like you, and then those who are not,
And if they're not like you, to treat them like snot,
BLUMBERG
You'll have to be duly untaught!
PITTMAN
If their sk
Hold It On Lyrics
(Music by John Jenkins-Stark)
They say that all of us are free,
And that our nation is the best;
If that were so, how could be be a people so terribly oppressed?
Every last person, so they claim, is equal and all that, although
They really don't treat us the same,
And what they s
I Love Just Everyone That I Find Lyrics
ALAN
I once learned of the roles
Of the magnetic poles,
How you must have a north and a south to attract.
But, as I explain,
The complex human brain
Has a sense of emotion those magnets all lacked.
I'm not going to sit on my derrière all day,
Never telling anyone of my cho
Kvetchy The Teacher Lyrics
(Sung to the tune of "Frosty the Snowman")
TRINA
Kvetchy the teacher
Was a total pedagogue;
Did a student make
But a sole mistake,
She would mark it in her log.
She disciplined
Like the monsoon wind
And gave many a detention;
If someone still
Broke her rules: "I will
Assign you a
Let's Go Out Against Our Teacher Lyrics
(Sung to the tune of "Battle Hymn of the Republic")
ENTIRE STUDENT BODY
Oh, the hiring of Liddas by
Degloba was a sin;
It was through the Devil that the school board let her in;
She imposed an evil system of inhuman discipline;
And must be overthrown!
Oh, let's go out against our
Let's Set A Date Lyrics
(Parody of "Let's Do It, Let's Fall in Love")
MELANIE
When the little green snake
With its skin inclined to flake
HAKEEM
When the little green frog
In the shallows of the bog
Turns all red;
(It looks dead!)
MELANIE
When the little green toad
In the middle of the road
Gets squashe
Oy Vey Lyrics
BLUMBERG
I am using the word "oy",
True, he did at times annoy,
Pittman was a bad, bad boy,
But why must someone employ
Forces that they could deploy,
And have them seek-and-destroy
Just when we were all full of joy
And gay?
Oy vey!
Although I eat bagels and lox,
It still seems a
Pulverize The Color Barrier Lyrics
SARAH
Andreo has a first name,
A-N-D-R-E-O . . .
Andreo has a second name,
N-I-K-O-L-A-O . . .
When people ask me for the longest name I ever knew,
I'll tell them what I know is true,
It's S-M-I-T-H-M-O-O-R-E-B-R-O . . .
MELANIE
"Pulverize the Color Barrier"?
Alan says that he lo
Terrorize Your Little Brother Lyrics
(Sung to the tune of "Deck the Halls")
Terrorize your little brother,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
He's the one to gag and smother,
Ha ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha.
Kill him by asphyxiation,
Egh-egh-egh, egh-egh-egh, ech-ech-echh,
Then go give him constipation,
Uhng-uhng-uhng-uhng-uh
The Antidepressant Song Lyrics
(Sung to the tune of the Orpheus Overture)
PATIENT:
Prozac, Zoloft, doxepin,
Sulpiride, mianserin,
Buspar and haloperidol,
Trazodone -- I've tried it all;
Flupentixol decanoate,
Pimozide, clorazepate,
Imipramine, Anafranil,
Fluphenazine in a pill;
Alprazolam, fluspirilene,
CataPr
The Biodiversity Song Lyrics
SARAH
Everyone's part of a family in a tribe or a race or ethnic group by
right of birth,
And we're all in the subspecies we call Homo sapiens sapiens,
the only known surviving one on Earth;
We're in the species Homo sapiens, which is in the genus
Homo, in the family that we call
The Elements Lyrics
Now, if I may digress momentarily from the mainstream of
this evening's symposium, I'd like to sing a song which is
completely pointless, but is something which I picked up
during my career as a scientist. This may prove useful to
some of you some day, perhaps, in a somewhat biza
The Last Name Song Lyrics
ANDREO
Smith-hyphen-Moore-hyphen-Brown-hyphen-Gore,
Some more hyphens with Johnson and Green;
Palmer and Hook, and then Matterson, Cooke,
And Pierce, and then Winters and Dean;
Some more of my family is Drinkwater, Wheatland, then Waters, Fields,
Hopkins and Banks;
There's Studha
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