Candidate's Wife's Rag Lyrics
Oh, the campaign trail is dreary
from Lake Tahoe to Lake Erie
and the days are long and weary
still I’m perky, warm, cheery
Clearly it’s no easy kind of life
Oh, it’s hard to be the candidate’s wife
I tell you
Woman's World did a piece on me
about how I raise my family
says oh h
Fear Of Flying Lyrics
Phyllis was a physicist,
a fairly good ventriloquist,
a free-lance photographer
but don’t call her a feminist.
Some challenges she’d nail
on the very first try,
but she felt like a failure
for she was afraid to fly.
Our friend the ace in physics
found herself in a great fix:
had
Getting Raptured Lyrics
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
and never brought to mind
should auld acquaintance be forgot
hey everybody, it’s rapture time
I was staring at the clouds from a 747
when I saw that there were thousands
getting sucked up into heaven
and I knew that Armageddon time was nigh
when
I'm Dyslexic Lyrics
I was only seven
when I learned how to read
I got the education
every child is guaranteed
We read around the classroom
Teacher hollered "Next!"
I was only comfortabl
ewhen reading Hebrew text
I’m dyslexic and I’m mad
D-A-M
Well I met a boy named Otto
I loved him for his
It's Hell To Be Psychic Lyrics
I refused to get the phone today
even after 27 rings
it would have been a bad connection
I can tell these things
I have gift with my predictions
they come naturally
and I can tell what you are thinking
but listen to me:
It’s hell to be psychic
hell to have ESP
to know the news be
Ladies Against Fanny Floss Lyrics
When our stretch marks look like the New Jersey Turnpike
mapped from navel to knees,
when the bottom's best feature is its interesting texture
(the sign of a fine cottage cheese),
when we search for the perfect bathing suit
that will cover our assets -and still look cute-
is this
Mother Tongue Lyrics
You barely touched the broccoli on your dinner plate
Well, alright just one bite and you can stay up late
Don't tease the baby; you'll make him cry
Because I'm the mother, that's why
chorus
Don't fight
I've got eyes in the back of my head.
These are things my mother's mother's
m
Root Canal Of The Heart Lyrics
Roger Wingtip is my dentist
there’s no one can compare
when he talks about bicuspids
he makes you really care
I once chewed three packs of licorice
to spend more time in his chair
Roger Wingtip is my dentist
there’s no one can compare
Oh Roger
you cause me pain
an ache that cann
Save The Snail Lyrics
It was a quiet cafe in Orleans, France
where we held our midnight rendezvous,
conspiring pour la resistance
It seemed like something Woody Allen would do,
talking politics, ethics, animal rights
one fateful night long ago.
The mood like the food we kept it light
till someone orde
Tails From The Litterbox Lyrics
In his hands sat a tiny Abyssinian
as he stood at his live-in lover's door
He said "I'm keeping it. Let's call it Gilligan."
and he handed her the cat and he said nothing more
And she thought, "Oh God, a cat. I hate cats,
and this one he's calling Gilligan, how disgus
That Reindeer Can Play Guitar Lyrics
It was a sweltering July at the North Pole
With the mercury at a balmy forty-two
Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen,
Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen
Were shvitzin’ with nothin’ to do
(they were tired of reindeer games)
Into the lodge strolled Raymond
What a reindeer! Everybody’s pal.
The Nervous Wreck Of Edna Fitzgerald Lyrics
We sailed away from Huntington Bay
and the waters were calm as could be-oh
On our new cabin cruiser, the first time we used her
'twas just the family and me-oh
And my husband stood proud in his new captain's hat
using words like ahoy there and- crap like that
So we took the
The Viennese Drinking Song Lyrics
Wherever we go, there's id and there's ego
the conflicts we never outgrow.
Anxiety's built on repression and guilt
(ask any good Catholic you know).
There are feelings inside which are felt and denied
and in trying to hide them we find
that the ones we repress are the ones we exp
Toe To Toe With The Hmo Lyrics
I have this problem with my toe
And so I call my HMO
With a referral from
My primary care physician
They say my call matters to them
They’re like an old and trusted friend
Except friends don’t make you ask
Them for permission
The recording on the phone
Says Leave a message at the
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